||[May. 12th, 2004|12:00 pm]
|||||the sound of me typing||]|
Things have settled down a bit since i last wrote in this, moms out of jail...for now, work is still a little hectic but not as bad, im getting the hang of things. I have been spending a lot of time alone lately, i mean im used to not hanging with my friends much, but i havent seen much of brian either. Its not that im over it or i dont love him, cause i do, more then anything, its just that i have been in a sort of frustrated mood lately, so the few times i would see him we would argue or just kinda get on each others nerves. Not sure if this is the best thing, just what i want right now, and i think for a sec i can be a little selfish, i mean i think i deserve it.
Living with Rachael and Franciou has been great, they are incredible people, i learn all kinds of things from them. Rachael always says i remind her of herself when she was my age, so i guess she kinda feels like she can teach me a few thing she didnt know at my age but knows now..but i know how that goes, everyone learns their own lessons at their own time. I feel strange lately(emotionally not physically), im not sure why, i dont really feel like taking the time to go into thinking what it could be, just in case its something bad.
Soon its gonna be a year since me and Kynen broke up, i dont get to see him much anymore, and miss him at times, not as a boyfriend, but as a friend. More now that im kinda lonely.
So we are at the 6 months point with brian, and i love him more and more every second of every day. He is the though that puts me to sleep at night, and the smile on my face every morning, he is my best friend, and one of the only people that really matters to me right now. I just hope that the way i have been feeling lately dosnt affect US. He is the most beautiful person i have ever met inside and out, and he is like no other boy i have known. If i could ever picture myself being with anyone for a "long" period of time, it would be him no question.
We went out this sat, to the same club where we met 6 months ago, and i had a great time, it was the first time i got to dance to some DnB since the new year, and i danced until i was soaking wet. *i love it* had a few drinks and then left. It was great being there with brian. He was the cutest guy their the night i met him, and he was still the cutest guy there with me.